that auld sein, lang

ya know what i mean?

i realized tonight that i put on this face of being this over-protective uberbrother bent on keeping my sister safe from the bad guys out there even at the cost of her sociability, but it's all a facade, a mask.

it's to cover up the fact that i am near completely helpless to do anything about it other than offer her advice 60 or 70 miles away most of the time.

it's also to cover up the fact that, as independent as i am, to my parents' mutual chagrin, i'm also near useless without her and were she suddenly not in my life, i'd spiral a long slow path downward of varying levels of lifelessness until succumbing to my despair.

oh the sick taste of vulnerability. ever daunting, ever haunting.

yet i still can't wait to go back to school.

ra ra, sis boom ba. what a way to start off the new year.

~Danny